I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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