so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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