I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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