I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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