I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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