I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
