Yo dont text me then not text me
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize