Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Porn is love you can see.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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