those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
