she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
