I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
