i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
