If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize