fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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