well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
