But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
