I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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