Got a toothbrush?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
