I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
If its not for food we ain't going out.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Congratulations! We have a period
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