You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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