chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
