ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
