is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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