We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
