so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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