TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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