haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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