ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Randomize
