Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
You are a genius and a whore.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
