Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
my vag is so smooth its legendary
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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