I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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