Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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