I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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