i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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