I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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