White coat. Heels.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
