So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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