do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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