Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
