The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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