that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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