Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
