1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
my mouth tastes like poor choices
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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