I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
