stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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