I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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