Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
