my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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