Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
