so that wasnt chicken after all
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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