how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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