Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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