hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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