Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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