He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
