she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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