am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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