theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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