But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
