So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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