oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
