wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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