yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
pray to the hookup gods
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
