PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
