i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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