i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
