Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I have already put on my inside pants.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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