You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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