I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize