Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
