He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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