we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Enjoy the penises
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize