Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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