I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
