I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
