were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
